Hostess With The Mostest T-Shirts

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'What zip code are we in now?'

Wine Lady

Cardiac Recovery.

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Pinata Trophies

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

"When we grow up we can eat snacks BEFORE dinner and call them hors d'oeuvres!"

Roller Coasters

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

Come dine with me!

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Compulsive Christmas Caterer!

"That was my kind of party...good food, good people, good-bye."

"You invited the Wilsons over? This forest is a mess!!"

'You just had to tell them to make themselves at home!'

No Cabin Crew Self Service.