Hostage Negotiator T-Shirts

'Forget his mother. He wants to talk to an agent about selling his story!'

'...He says he won't negotiate until we send in pizza and beer.'

"I thought you said it was an armed siege Hoskins!!"

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Changing Minds

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'For heaven's sake, Claudia. Give him the tuna fish sandwiches!'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

"My fees are quite high, and yet you say you have little money. I think I'm seeing a conflict of interest here."

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

"Are you sending your people over here to smoke in my doorway?"

"Of course under your new contract the requirement for you to provide 24 hour cover is optional...you could also opt for 36 or 48 hours!"

"All night I dreamed I was at work. Do I get overtime for that?"

Unison plans strikes

It's a big ask.