Hostage Negotiator By The Water T-Shirts

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

Round 2 (office meeting being conducted like a boxing match).

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

Boss, I've got a new idea. And it will totally empower on-demand collaboration and idea-sharing. Not again. It'll synergistically maintain error-free catalysts for change, while progressively meshing stand-alone methods of reconceptualization. Look, I've already told you. You're not getting a raise, not matter how much business jargon you use. But an extra $2 an hour would dramatically generate error-free opportunities for a tax deduction. No means no.

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

". . .Release the Grunwalds now! Do not make us resort to force!"

'Damn it, he's lawyered up! By the time this works its way through the courts he'll be out of season!'

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

"All night I dreamed I was at work. Do I get overtime for that?"

'I'll do your taxes for you, daddy, if you'll color these silly homework pictures for me.'

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"Okay, it's a deal...you two pay me the same amount as your parents are, and I'll let you stay up an extra two hours."

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'Spider-Man does too take baths!'

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

David meets Goliath's lawyer.

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

"Can you lend me a book?"

'Forget his mother. He wants to talk to an agent about selling his story!'

'...He says he won't negotiate until we send in pizza and beer.'

'We had a meaningful confrontation, and I lost.'