Sandbox Negotiator T-Shirts

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"I got it from eBay."

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'Let's arbitrate.'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks-- When do I get paid'

Attorney-at-play

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."