Hospital Rounds Enthusiast Pillows

"Here comes my doctor ... I know the click and clatter of his ID badges."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Being Serenading in Casualty

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

Little girl playing childrens hospital

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Hospital Visit

"I might be a one armed podiatrist... but if you lend me a hand... I'll fix your foot."

'You were clinically dead for over a week. Gave us all quite a little scare.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

"He fought like hell."

"Okay - which one of us is talking now?"

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are? Do you remember the accident? Do you know you had a hole in your underpants?"

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'

A knight fights the Covid-19 virus.

'Lunch!'

Casualty

"We have male patient coming in who has a large parsnip stuck up his colon!"

"Apropos-of-nothing last words." "...John Stamos' middle name is Phillip."

Boy tricking the nurse

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

'I know brain surgeons are suppose to be brilliant, but anybody can lose their car keys.'

'She's a nurse in the childrens' ward.'

"Doctor I think it is incompatible blood..."

'And how are you this fine day Mr. Simkins?'