Hospital Irony Lover Pillows

'Bad news,Mister Hogwhite - your hospital Plan has taken a turn for the worse!'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Big slipper.

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"