Hospital Heroics Pillows

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"That's a coincidence - his hospital parking ticket has just expired, too!"

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

Keyworker

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

Medical personnel give their hearts

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Booster shots

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'What's holding him up?'

COVID 19

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

EU Vaccine approval

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'