Healthcare Heroes Pillows

'Correct. And in the case of a cardiac arrest, every second counts. Who can tell me why? Anyone? Clock's ticking.'

'It's out new method for determining who we should treat first. We take people in order of how loud they scream.'

Do you remember when all we had to worry about was the patients?

'She's going to need a prescription for light-headedness, She fainted when I told her how much her meds cost,'

'75% of our resources are taken up dealing with the aged and infirm...and that's just the staff!'

Hospital - "Do you have an appointment."

It's not the destination, but the journey that counts. Until you screw up. Then it's all about the destination.

"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

'Well, we located a kidney, but the donor is a Trekkie, so we'll leave it up to you.'

'Mother, if I make an exception in your case, all my patients will expect me to make house calls.'

Doctor in Iraq - 'I got fed-up with the violence in A&E.'

'I thought you were supposed to do no harm!'

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

Mammogram

N.H.S.Trust.In box/out box(Resucitate/Do not resuscitate).

"I don't normally like to increase a child's hyper-active medicine, but in this case...."

'You'll have to come in over the weekend to attend some training on managing a healthy 'work/life' balance!'

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

"I blame the nurses."

Patient,receptionist,doctor.

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

'When a patient is clearly in need of personal care it's imperative that you call a care assistant urgently!'

'I don't have to take guff from anyone. I'm the doctor! Go out there stand up to her...'

'We wouldn't dream of blaming you...'

"The good news is that the stock market is doing much better."

Caution: Safety Net Being Redesigned.

Hell's Angels

NHS Tax Bill

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

Contagious

'I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the ebola scare goes away.'

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'