Healthcare Heroes Pillows

'Correct. And in the case of a cardiac arrest, every second counts. Who can tell me why? Anyone? Clock's ticking.'

Do you remember when all we had to worry about was the patients?

'75% of our resources are taken up dealing with the aged and infirm...and that's just the staff!'

It's not the destination, but the journey that counts. Until you screw up. Then it's all about the destination.

Hospital - "Do you have an appointment."

"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

'I thought you were supposed to do no harm!'

'Well, we located a kidney, but the donor is a Trekkie, so we'll leave it up to you.'

Doctor in Iraq - 'I got fed-up with the violence in A&E.'

'Mother, if I make an exception in your case, all my patients will expect me to make house calls.'

N.H.S.Trust.In box/out box(Resucitate/Do not resuscitate).

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'You'll have to come in over the weekend to attend some training on managing a healthy 'work/life' balance!'

"I don't normally like to increase a child's hyper-active medicine, but in this case...."

"I blame the nurses."

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

Patient,receptionist,doctor.

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

'I don't have to take guff from anyone. I'm the doctor! Go out there stand up to her...'

'When a patient is clearly in need of personal care it's imperative that you call a care assistant urgently!'

"The good news is that the stock market is doing much better."

Caution: Safety Net Being Redesigned.

Hell's Angels

NHS Tax Bill

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

Contagious

'I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the ebola scare goes away.'

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'We wouldn't dream of blaming you...'

"Look, I took my own kidney out."

"But apart from pay, conditions, stress, increased bureaucracy, recruitment problems, patient expectations, and violence...'

"The business consultant has ordered a 20% cut in compassion to save money so I'm afraid you'll have to talk to yourself from now on!"