Hospital Hallway Navigator Mugs

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

Hospital Departments

"But I wasn't running in the hall."

"Cardiac day patients?"

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

"I would not recommend you bypass heart surgery."

"I'm sending you to someone who's less squeamish."

"You have reached your destination (for the 4th time tonight, I might I add?)"

"We must be in the wrong wing."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

It's important to get to know the unspoken rules of office life...

'Oh no, not you again,'

"Actually, what doesn't kill you just raises the cost of everyone's insurance"

Hospital bed shortages

Medical mishap.

'And what can I do for you..?'

'My husband was recently admitted. Can you direct me to the hypochondria department?'

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

Injured man sees that he is being taken to the 'No Biggie Room', as opposed to the 'Emergency Room.

'Frankly Mrs Briggs, I think your stress is caused by too many second opinions.'

"Mr. Simpson, a doctor type will see you now."

Not to worry...by the most remarkable of coincidences a new polyclinic has been opened just 12 miles away...

'I know... crazy right? What are the odds of getting stung in both hands. . .'

'Dr Krantz referred you to me? I was going to refer you to Dr Kranz.'

'You need an ectomy. Hop up here and we'll see what kind.'

'This the Assistant to the deputy parliamentary undersecretary for health...he'll be responsible for your accessing a positive care outcome.'

Hospital Directory: You are supposed to be here.

They're keeping me in for observation.

"Sorry, this is the Department of Wrong Places. You want the Bureau of Missed Appointments way-y-y-y-y-y-y down the hall."

'Been here awhile?'