Hospital Gag Lover Gifts

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'Urology...can you hold?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

Paramedics.

"I'm in for observation."

Too much Inflammation

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'

'Well my inner diagnostician thinks your inner diagnostician is completely off the wall.'

The monster was surprised to receive a medical bill from Dr. Frankenstein.

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"Is it working?"

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

'I can't turn it off.'

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

"Mr. Marshand, wake up – your MRI is over! Mr. Marshand!!"

"The mood Disorders Clinic is three floors up, and then two floors down."

"In case we have to go back in."

"Don't worry. I'm doing someone's liver resection tomorrow and I'll grab one of their kidneys."