Hospital Chaos Appreciator Pillows

"Nine out of ten doctors are in the wrong room."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"I told you not to invite that guy!"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily..."

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

Man is attacked by sea creature.

Hospital gown pageant.

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

Coronavirus

Hospital Visit

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

'Dude, I got the rest of the day off, so I'll be able to go riding after all!'

Thank You to Vaccinators

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

'Wake him up. We need informed consent for the next part.'

'You were clinically dead for over a week. Gave us all quite a little scare.'

Miracles on 34th Street.

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

"Sorry about this. Some kids from the neighborhood flushed a cherry bomb down our sub-atomic particle accelerator."

'Why can't you order ravioli or pizza?'

Studying Fire Behavior

ER, The Musical: 'I'm a medic...' 'n' I'm a medic...' 'They're a paramedics!'

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

'Hey doctor, how come I'm totally alone in this section?'