Hospital Chaos Lover Pillows

"You clean him up! You're the one who gave him sleeping tablets and a laxative!"

Providing Healthcare For All

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Urology...can you hold?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

Disorderlies

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

Paramedics.

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'I can't turn it off.'

"Mr. Marshand, wake up – your MRI is over! Mr. Marshand!!"

'For god's sake Walters, wait until the patient is fully anesthetized before going through his wallet.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Hospital Visit

'We abide by HIPAA laws to protect your privacy.'

'All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean.'