Hospital Scene Appreciator Pillows

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

Hospital gown pageant.

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

Thank You to Vaccinators

Hospital Visit

'I delivered him during the second act of Les Miserables. I delivered her during the first act of Phantom of the Opera. This one I deliveried. . .'

Coronavirus

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

'Wake him up. We need informed consent for the next part.'

'You were clinically dead for over a week. Gave us all quite a little scare.'

'It all started when I told him I resented people calling lawyers assholes, because I'm an asshole.'

'Hey doctor, how come I'm totally alone in this section?'

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

ER, The Musical: 'I'm a medic...' 'n' I'm a medic...' 'They're a paramedics!'

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

"We find it calms the patient."

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'

'Don't worry about it, nurse. Mr. Jones is one of my private patients.'

'Lunch!'

'He's always talking about all of his operations.'

"Don't worry it's only natural to be a little nervous before a big operation."

"Leave him alone. He's doing a great job!"