Horse Gear Enthusiast Gifts

'Poll guard, rug, knee and elbow pads...wow! Are you off to a show or a battle?'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

May all your birthday wishes come true..

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'What's founder?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Stubborn Horses

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

'It's a hybrid.'

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

Horse Clean-up

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'