Horror Romantic Gifts

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Love at First Sight

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"You're such a good listener."

Venus

Sauvignon Bonk

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Night of the Latkes

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Night of the Zombonies.

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Chiller Theatre

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Silence of the Chickens...

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

'More bubbles!'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Dead Funny

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"