Hooked On Cooking Gifts

Pirate Captain, with his hook accessories, in his kitchen.

Domestic Goddess.

'You lifted your head.'

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

A Creature WAS Stirring

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

The First Steak.

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"You know very well what fish!"

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

'He did it for us.'

'How do you like the souffle?' - 'Great, will you give me the blueprint?'

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

"When did they add this channel?!"

Mary Berry

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

'I tried, Larry, but I guess that whole 'watched pot never boils' stuff was just a lie! Larry?'