Hook-free Advocate Pillows

Use no hooks.

"Smokey The Tree"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

Fish talking about fisherman

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'You're going to have to stop smoking, drink less, change your eating habits and start taking regular exercise.' 'This seems awfy one-sided, Doctor.'

"Tomorrow, we'll take on the tobacco industry."

"Me, I became an outdoor cat when her new boyfriend moved in: he smokes in the house..."

Animal cosmetic testing

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

'Oi! '

'Single-use' - Word of the year 2018

'Ahem. No txtng PLZ."

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"We seem to be the only animals here."

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

"I could use some of those animal rights activists about now."

Although I loathe you with a passion, I've decided to put you in my will. I'm rich! On one condition. Name it. Your inheritance cannot be spent on anything that blinks, beeps, buzzes, charges, flashes … boots up, plugs in, takes batteries … Whoa, hold up … emails, downloads, texts, web-surfs, or in any way prevents you from getting out in the world and interacting in person with other human beings. It can't be spent on any of that nonsense … but … Yes? … But it does have to be walked twice a day

"Here you are - Two house martinis, humanely poured!"

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

Office Smoking Conflict

'Hi John, it's your partner, Peter. I've decided to have a non-smokers day off - it should just make up for all the cigarette breaks you've taken in the last month!'

'Smoke free buildings' chase man with cigarette

"We all live in a tub of margarine..."

'My dad's no dummy. He knows using 'plastic' is bad for us. I convinced him that we should use paper and go 'green'.'

"It's not you, Gavin. . . it's just that I could never love anyone who still used plastic bags."