Cruelty-free Advocate Pillows

"Here you are - Two house martinis, humanely poured!"

Animal cosmetic testing

"We seem to be the only animals here."

Cruel sports - foxhunting

An angry Elephant has finally found the person who has his former foot (a Hunter in his Den) using it for a waste-paper basket.

"I could use some of those animal rights activists about now."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

'It's a silent protest.'

Factory Farmers.

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

The serious corporation

Rabbit pulled from top hat carries 'Stop animal cruelty' banner

'Single-use' - Word of the year 2018

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

A clown is being executed by having cream pies thrown at him.

I just heard this is a non-profit bar. Since all profits go to charity, I plan to donate extra! I plan to donate my hangover.

"Unbelievable! Why isn't anybody doing something against the awful dog poverty?"

'Yes, Ms Worthy, I know pointing is rude, but it's important that we identify your attacker to the court.'

Civil discourse

'Entering Washington, DC. Congressional 'civility' level: undetectable.'

'Go back indoors! Leaning out of a window is against the law!'

"We all live in a tub of margarine..."

'My dad's no dummy. He knows using 'plastic' is bad for us. I convinced him that we should use paper and go 'green'.'

"Thanks to our awareness campaign, donations increased. Mostly from folks wishing to remain unaware."

"It's not you, Gavin. . . it's just that I could never love anyone who still used plastic bags."

"Poke my bunny with a stick, sir?"