Honky Tonk Habitué T-Shirts

"You've just written every country song."

Problem Solving

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

'This is just a routine, sir - step out of the car and do the hokey-pokey.'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

Rhinestone Accountant

Luxury Hammock - 2 Person Construction

Philosopher's Tours - Honk If You Know the Meaning of Life.

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

Rainy Days

"Those in favour, honk!"

'And that's Mr. Clarke - bottle of Pinot Grigio, every Friday, 4:45 p.m.'

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

"You wait...this is only the start...believe me I do very good starts."

Country Girl Yeee Haaa!

"Not responding to a knock-knock joke isn't proof he's unconscious."

"We located your chart...It was filed under 'P' for pain in the butt!"

Rush hour traffic with inconsiderate drivers.

Life is Wood

'Who's there?'

Traffic Signals: Caution/Stop/Honkhorn

Married to a Honky-Tonk Man: 'Hey! Hey! Mama! Can yer daddy come home!

I started biting my lip...and look where that got me!

"You take your left foot out and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about/"

"There's the UPS truck, but that's not Justin. What's going on?! Where the #@*! is Justin?!"

Naked bowling in the living room

"Occasionally I like to take time to stop smelling the roses."

Hammock.

'It's true that the order has relaxed the dress code somewhat, Sister Catherine, but spandex is still a no-no.'

Where the hokey pokey went wrong.

'The water shortage began it - Then somehow, the habit of sharing-a-bath stuck...'