Honest Storyteller T-Shirts

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Rocket Ark

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

The new boy was teased for being different.

Spirit of love

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

"I've never had a day's illness in my life. I always make it last a week."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but your sweaty hand is grossing me out."

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

'I was warned about online dating.'

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

Danger-zone journalists.

Bird Watchers Club of America.

"Would you like to dance with me?"

'No, honey, grammy is in heaven.'

"I wasn't always a big success in business. In fact, I'm still not."

"I'm just as ambivalent about her as the day we met, fifty years ago."

Why the dodo became extinct

'Let's play house... you can be my ex-husband.'

'Whenever my parents threaten to discipline me, I say 'Okay, but that's the first thing I'm going to mention in my tell all book'. Works for me.'

"Remember anything recently?"

"It's where I grew up, Diane. A sleepy little town where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and blogs about it 24/7!"

"Not right now, Honey. Daddy’s ignoring you."