Homonym Hero Pillows

"Net Interest"

"Dad, the school wants to know if you can be a tutor."

Yard Arm

"You can spell it 'W-R-I-T-E,; 'R-I-G-H-T' or 'R-I-T-E'."

Sublime

"He was a very good boy."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Keyworker

"#Win!"

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"I just tweeted a chirp."

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

The briefs on the outside? Actually it started by accident when I used to change in phone booths.

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Denmark: Begging is against the law!

'Follow the revolution on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Blogspot,,,'

Frontex

"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."

'We're a voluntary organisation John, they're not meant to pay for it.'

Superman's laundry

'I'm sorry. It appears Mr. Mitchell won't be accepting any more information today.'

Planner at work.

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

Knights of the iPhone

"I'm on Facebook, dear. Do we want to friend this revolution?"