Homework Skeptic Pillows

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

Alternative Medicine

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

New from Low-Key Press.

'Good, bad dog!'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'