Homework Guru Gifts

'Early warning signs of teacher burnout.'

"I'm putting your math homework in your blue folder – don’t eat it!"

'How's the homework today?'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

Do your research!

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

Evil Exams!

"How was work?"

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

Pull an all-nighter?

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'