Homework Gatekeeper Gifts

'The only difference between you and me, Flanders, is that I read the homework before I ate it.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

Extra Long-jump

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'You did your book report on the TV schedule?'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Student to teacher: 'No, not my dog. I do my homework on my computer... and the cat ate the mouse.'

"What are you writing?"

"If you need help with your homework ask your father...and he'll ask me."

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

"This is too much homework, Ms. Fraily. We're only allowed one carry-on on the bus."

"Maybe if you wrap your homework in a pill pocket, he'll eat it."

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"There are two kinds of students: perfectionists and procrastinators."

"Sorry, eating homework isn't in my job description."

''Homework'? -- what about my social life?'

"You don't have to eat it. Just lick off the writing."

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

'When you created the world, Lord, did you know that Miss Rabone would be able to fit the whole thing into one geography test?'

Heaven Security Checks.