Homemade Brewer Gifts

My dad makes his own beer.

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

You've Had Enough!

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

'I brew it myself.'

"Tap anywhere to begin."

'I should never have let you pick the taps!'

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

"We grind our own catnip."

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'