Homebody With A Stock Portfolio Pillows

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

The day the stock market went UP.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"In da house"

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

"What?"

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

"The neighbors' place is a pig sty! Why can't we have something like that?"

"So, you're staying in then?"

Stock market worries.

Bull and Bear Nightmare

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Day 4 of self-isolation and the strain was showing.

"Clinton spoke at my inauguration, and it's so cold outside-can he crash here for another week?"