Home Tidy Champion T-Shirts

"I can tell when Spring is just around the corner ... I can't see out the window."

"I miss the Augean stables."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

TV and cleaner

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

The Movers - Decluttering

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

A woman's work is never done.

And it stores easily under your bed...

'Didn't you remove the bird before washing the cage?'

'You knew I was an amphibian when you married me!'

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

Objets D'Angst

"I'm not sure why our realtor recommended getting a home staging expert."

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

"Anything you can do, I can do better...unless it's cleaning up your room!"

While you're down there, Hon, see if we got the Belle Boudoir catalog.

"How many times did I tell you? Don't put the outdated chargers in the drawer for broken headphones."

How to tell an Empty Nest.

What if pets did housework...

"He wants to be beach buggy ready."

'I give up! Let's exchange this for an easy-to-clean cage!'

"It's not so much spring cleaning as it is 'My mom is visiting for Mother's Day' cleaning."

Why Nature Abhors A Vacuum

'Why should I pick up all this stuff? You bought it!'

'But I can't take my muddy boots off - I'm not wearing any!'

"I don't lift weights. I got this way because I wipe down the equipment really, really hard."

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

'How to get mustard stains out of clothing? Excuse me while I call my mother!'

Good Bin Emptying Isn't Just for Christmas

'My gift from Wally sucks big time...'