Home Tidy Champion T-Shirts

"I can tell when Spring is just around the corner ... I can't see out the window."

"I miss the Augean stables."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

TV and cleaner

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

The Movers - Decluttering

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"Hmm...well, OK...as long as you boys promise to leave the battlefield the way you found it."

A woman's work is never done.

And it stores easily under your bed...

"I'm not sure why our realtor recommended getting a home staging expert."

While you're down there, Hon, see if we got the Belle Boudoir catalog.

'Didn't you remove the bird before washing the cage?'

'You knew I was an amphibian when you married me!'

Objets D'Angst

"How many times did I tell you? Don't put the outdated chargers in the drawer for broken headphones."

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

"Anything you can do, I can do better...unless it's cleaning up your room!"

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

How to tell an Empty Nest.

What if pets did housework...

"He wants to be beach buggy ready."

'Why should I pick up all this stuff? You bought it!'

'I give up! Let's exchange this for an easy-to-clean cage!'

Why Nature Abhors A Vacuum

"It's not so much spring cleaning as it is 'My mom is visiting for Mother's Day' cleaning."

Wow, you really straightened up the place while I was gone.

'But I can't take my muddy boots off - I'm not wearing any!'

"I don't lift weights. I got this way because I wipe down the equipment really, really hard."

'How to get mustard stains out of clothing? Excuse me while I call my mother!'

Good Bin Emptying Isn't Just for Christmas

'Oh, I never hang your towel. It's on the floor where you normally leave it.'