Home Sweet Home Humorist Mugs

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'I had a house for that price, but it sold in 1962.'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."

"Well one step down from our 'Luxury Executive Mansion' is our 'crap terrace with outside loo'."

An eskimo shows off his new igloo - 'This place has all the latest features including an 'ig-loo'...'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"By offering your home as security, you are giving the lender a legal claim to your property."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"I see the cat's left us another little offering."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'