Home Life Humorist Mugs

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"All I said was, 'I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready'."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Yard Sale

Peter

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"There goes our early night."

"But I use all of them!"

"Just the slippers is fine!"

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"5...4...3...2..."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."