Home Shopper T-Shirts

"Our real estate agent is earning his commission since the house sold before he even had put the FOR SALE sign up."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Everything's gone up."

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

'She's on the trail of a pair of Jimmy Choo's.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"It looked different on the internet."

'Just look'in'

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

Fashion Mistake.

The Evolution Of Man - Hunt and Gather/Point and Click

'Enough EBAY already!'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Complex Carbs

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."