Home Selling Pro T-Shirts

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Dog eat dog.'

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

Mouse real estate!

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'So that's his secret.'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

'This is where we hired Felder. All those in favor of going back in time and not hiring Felder...'

Reconnaissance reports your email blast to Sales was a direct hit, with acceptable collateral damage in Finance and Accounting.

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'