Home Repairs Pillows

"My husband said he could fix anything so if you find him, tell him he was wrong!"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'That's the last time I ever let you try to fix the microwave.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'I meant a different type of plummer for fixing our leaks...'

Breaking up with a handyman is hard to do.

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"Couldn't you just sew the button back on?"

"Yeah, mom. Ed's up before sunrise to fix the sink. So here I stand at the crack of dawn."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"I did replace it...with another broken light bulb!"

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

Damned Garage Door Openers.

'You won't get ME under a car!'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

'The light stays on after I shut the door.'

Sink's clogged again?

Let's get organized

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Jack of all trades

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

Light Bulb Moment

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....