Experiencing Home Repairs Pillows

'I've never known people who take as many baths as they do!'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'I found the termites!'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

A DIY disaster.

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Lazy plumber.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

The Fuse

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"Was it a fuse?"

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

"The blow drier is broken."

'No it's still not fixed'

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'