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Ceiling Paint

'Oh yes, Leonard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"Too bright."

Captain steering house through flood.

'How's the water skiing?'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'We'll take it!'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"Have you been fiddling with the cuckoo clock again, Tony?"

Pea green

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

Face Painting.

Blowing up the camping mattress.

"Shall I kiss it better?"

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

G.P.S. For the Home

'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Whenever I want my mom to play fort, I just turn on news about climate change."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

"Love the exposed chessboard."

"The first thing about living alone again is not to overdo the chintz."

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'