Home Philosophers Gifts

'We don't think of it as an investment but as a metaphor.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

The Origins of Everything

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"So that's where you were last night."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

The Boys of Indian Summer

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

'Why make the cake? If he's the Creationist you say he is, he'll prefer you bought it ready made.'

It's crème brûlée, Julia. It doesn't have a subtext.

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."