Home Philosopher T-Shirts

Dare to Soar. Believe. Dream. Live Simply. One Day at a Time. I think we need a platitude adjustment.

Frank's Realty. The guru's house is tough to sell. One door opening whenever another closes is not a plus in real estate.

"Well according to this you're sat in my wealth corner."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'You lifted your head.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

The Origins of Everything

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"So that's where you were last night."

The Boys of Indian Summer

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Oh, this is my son - I'm home-enlightening him.'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'