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Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Doing the borders.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Yardless: Please help

"Man's best friends."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Lazy Octopus

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."