Home Mechanic T-Shirts

'There was no warning. He just seized up.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

CLEAR!

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'Well, that's fixed that.'