Home Handyman T-Shirts

'He's been keeping busy as usual, doing odd jobs around the house.'

'My dog is terrified of strangers. would you be a dear and wear this outfit while you're working here?'

Kit-set shelving. Third attempt.

Husband - 'Honey, the Vandamyer's are here!' Wife - 'I'll be down in a minute dear! I'm just polishing my nails.' (Woman polishing metal nails).

"There, that chair won't wobble again"

Fixing the TV.

"Stop being stubborn and call the plumber!"

"Why don't you just fix the hole?"

Let's get organized

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

Light Bulb Moment

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

The Missing Sock Returns

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.