Home Craftsman T-Shirts

Painters

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Lovely dovetail."

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

I love embroidery

Waiting for retirement.

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Fixing the TV.

Education and Apprenticeships

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

The Sculptor

Bob’s Museum

Beyond Dante

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

Luthier

"Any chance you could do it at a higher resolution?"

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

Nick Offerman

Little boy blows a larger bubble than glass blower can.

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Raw Piano Bar

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"