Home Kitchen Hero Pillows

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'OK, so we have a burglar and he's eating your home-made steak and kidney pie. We now face a dilemma, do we call the police or an ambulance?'

Hippos Cooking

Come dine with me!

Jack of all trades

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Domestic Goddess.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

You're the puff in my pastry!

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

Cake Friday!

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

A holiday at home

The Perfect Foil

'Cooking'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'Caw blimey!'