Home Kitchen Hero Pillows

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'OK, so we have a burglar and he's eating your home-made steak and kidney pie. We now face a dilemma, do we call the police or an ambulance?'

Hippos Cooking

Come dine with me!

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Domestic Goddess.

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

You're the puff in my pastry!

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Cake Friday!

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Witch's Brew.

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'Caw blimey!'

A holiday at home

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'Cooking'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

The Perfect Foil

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"