Home Cooking Hero Pillows

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

Roasted

'I'm making enough so I won't have to cook again this month.'

'Grandma makes everything from scratch! Why don't you ever buy any scratch?'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Honey, I appreciate the effort, but you're frightening our son."

'Now don't tell me you had this for lunch!'

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'

"I put the roast in the slow cooker. It'll be ready next Thursday."

Come dine with me!

Domestic Superheroes!!

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"You do like octopus?"

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

You're the puff in my pastry!

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"