Home Invasion Satire Fan Gifts

'Thank heaven you're here - they've just about taken over.'

"You know, there are other emojis."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'We need more cake shows!'

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

"Worm puree? No, it seems the old lady was sh*tfaced again last night!"

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

'What was all that yelling outside?'

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

Statue Selfie

'Better call me Sir in the office dear - I don't want the staff to know that I send my wife out to work...'

"A touch more obsequious and you'll reach the tipping point."

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'