Home Hospitality Gifts

'And after you let him in, I thought he was one of YOUR relatives!'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"Valet park only"

Opening the Barrel

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

With Compliments

Complementary Beverages

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

Bed and Breakfast