Home Harmony Warrior Gifts

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

Noise Pollution

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

Separation Anxiety

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

The online yoga class was not without interruptions.

A woman's work is never done!

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

'It's just what I always wanted!'

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Headlines at Our House

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

Magic Carpet Cleaning

Looks like I do dishes again.

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Blanket Pull

Segway Workout

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"I apologize for the mess."