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"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"You're welcome."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

The perfectionist.

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Please do not touch the art. Please touch the artist.

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

Pea green

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

King Madras

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.