Home Fortifier T-Shirts

'When I said you should improve security I meant put a latch on the door.'

'I have no intention of depending on the government for my homeland security.'

Security.

"Don't you think you're taking this shelter-in-place thing a little too far?!"

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

No Soliciting

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Planning for flooding - 'Well, we'll cross that bridge when come to it.'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

'Your father installed a security system.'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'Hello, security.'