Home Edition Owner T-Shirts

'...and this glorious cliff-top property has recently been reduced by fifty per-cent.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"I didn't spark joy."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"The pH level seems a little off."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

Living together, couple in love.

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

Home Business - Printer Ink.

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"Decaf for me, Peter."

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

'It has to have big living room, he has a sixty inch rock.'

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'