Home Dwellers T-Shirts

"Call the pest control people! This is getting out of hand!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Dog Walking Services

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

Shakespeare Street

"Come and get it!"

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

Upper West Side Story

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'And here we have the half bathroom.'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."