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'You called a plumber!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'No it's still not fixed'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

How to Build a Bungalow

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Carpet Cows

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"The piano's in tune, but the house is a little flat."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.